Overcoming Lyme: my journey.

I've had this sweet little baby outfit hanging in my closet for about 6 months now. (John claims it's been closer to a year.) I bought it with the intention of having our next baby wear it. Although we already have four wonderful children, we've known that there are more to come. Two more to be exact. And I can't wait to get to that point.

Even before knowing I had Lyme disease, I knew something was so terribly off in my body that having another baby wasn't a good idea. Carrying a baby for nine months, having it rely on your body for its own growth and development and then giving birth to it and having all go well with that is so taxing on the body. And when a body is already severely taxed and has been so for many years, having a baby isn't exactly the wisest decision to make.

After a couple years of going from one doctor to the next and finally finding out that I had Lyme, I knew for sure that our gut instinct to hold off having more children was right on.

Lyme disease is easily transferred from mother to baby. Some doctors disagree with this. But there are too many mothers experiences that say otherwise. So am I concerned that my children might have Lyme? You bet.

Initially I have been most concerned about their digestive systems. Mine has never been up to par - thanks to the crazy amount of antibiotics I took for acne while I was a teen and the way I handled stress for so many years. All my kids manifest an impaired digestive system in one form or another; candida, sensitivities to pasteurized dairy, eczema and abnormal stool.

I never really worried that much about the possibility that they too may also have Lyme until I went to the clinic and they asked me if I thought my kids may have it. I told the doctor that I was a bit concerned about my youngest, Millie, having it because my condition flared up while I was pregnant with her.

It wasn't until I was receiving my treatment and speaking to other moms in the room that my concerns peaked. They too asked me if I thought that my children might have it. I told them my concerns about Millie and commented that she does always seem to have one ailment or another she's complaining about. But, I explained, I felt that she did this because she always sees me dealing with one ailment or another.

Truthfully, her repetitive complaints actually irritated me. I felt that she was only acting this way because she (I'm embarrassed to say) learned it from me. I didn't want her to become a hypochondriac.

One mother in the clinic said, "Ya know, it's my belief that children don't complain about things just to complain. They complain because something is really bothering them." The truth of that comment hit me hard when she said it and I began to tear up.

I felt so bad that I would always shove Millie's complaints away by saying, "You're fine." Flashbacks of her complaints crossed my mind.

"Mommy, my tummy hurts." - "You're fine."
"I wanted to cry in my (church) class and go to you because my foot was hurting." - "You're fine."
"Ow. My tummy hurts." - "You're fine."
"My arm is hurting." - "You're fine."
"My tummy isn't feeling good." - "Millie! You're fine!"

Lyme. It commonly hits the digestive system first. Muscle and joint aches that sporadically hit different areas of the body comes next. It's quite possible that Millie has Lyme. If left un-diagnosed and untreated it will wreak terrible havoc with her body, steal her life and be transferred to her children - if she lived that long.

I've been much more compassionate and caring to her continuing complaints ever since I returned home from the clinic.

All of my children will need to be checked for Lyme - especially energetic, colorful, strong willed, sensitive, constantly-dancing little Millie.

(This is one of Millie's dance interpretations of a particular hip-hoppish song. She spends time dancing away to an array of different songs daily.)

Having that baby outfit hanging in my closet, seeing it every day, makes it feel that having another baby is closer, more real and more possible that it otherwise usually feels. My Lyme will need to be erased. My health, strength and vitality will need to be restored. But we'll get there. One day.

I know it!