Fifth Appointment

My mom, along with Tante (Aunt) Giesela and her husband, Onkel (Uncle) Manfred, took me to my appointment today. My mom was (and is) ever so willing to help out with whatever I may need to get me these treatments. She's watched my kids in the past but this time, feeling that John needed a break from these weekly drives and knowing that he needs any extra second he can get to get our business up and running, I asked her if she could take me to my appointment.

She was willing to do so and seeing as how Tante Giesela and Onkel Manfred are visiting from Germany and don't have much else to do, they came along as well. In fact, Onkel Manfred did all the driving!

They did the usual two bags today: "Ozone" along with the light therapy and the "Chronic Illness". I thought I was doing okay but realized, after being done with the bags and getting up, that my body was having a mini healing crisis. Shaky. Weak. Yucky brain. Twitching ... the usual. 

My mom, my Aunt and Uncle ran some errands in good ol' Pocatello while I had my treatments. I called my mom to let her know I was done with the IV bags and was just waiting to be able to talk to Dr. "J". She came in and sat with me while the other two stayed out in the car.

One little funny incident that happened was that as Dr. J., upon entering the room, shook my mom's hand she reacted by saying, "Gutentag." And then she just laughed that hearty little laugh of hers at what she had just said. (She just came back from a 3 week trip to Germany and is therefore still in German mode.) Too funny.

Trying to reassure Dr. J that I wasn't a hypochondriac, I asked him if he could ease my concerns that what I'm dealing with isn't a brain tumor. (The flare up's with the brain inflammation and vision disturbances kinda makes me worry a bit to say the least.) He showed me the dark field blood work he had done on me and then showed me photos of what it would look like if I had brain cancer. I was in the clear there. He told me he felt 99% sure that I did not have brain cancer or a tumor. I'll believe him.

As he (and Alicia) walked out the door I quickly asked a question I almost forgot to ask, "Do you think coming once a week is enough for me?" I just had to know. 

"No." they said in unison as they both shook their heads. 

"You should be coming at least two times a week." Dr. J. says.

"Okay." I respond. They walk out the door. My mom and I both stand up to leave and I lose it. The tears start flowing and I sit back down. 

"(Nah, was isten los?) Oh, what's wrong?" My mom asks as she lays her hand on my shoulder. 

I simply need to cry for a second. Alicia comes in the room again.

"I just don't know how we're going to make that work. Money. Time..."

"Don't worry. My mom says. Dad and I will make it work. Don't worry. We'll make it work."

Alicia informs me that they do have good deals with some hotels that are close by. She tells me that it really would be best to come even for a week or two and get a couple of treatments per day.

"People with Lyme heal so much faster if they can do that." She says. "Then they just come in for maintenance."

"I'll see what we can do." I respond.

By this time I've pulled myself together and we leave. My mom, ever so generously, paid for this treatment. $295. Add it to the pile. At least, this time, I'm getting some (not so pretty, yet necessary) results.

So what will we do? I'm not quite sure yet. We've been thinking about having a "FUNdraiser Family Fair". (I came up with that - thank you!) John needs at least one more week of 12-14 hour work days getting the site done. So maybe we'll go to my regular appointments, a week from now. And soon after that go and live in good ol' Pocatello for a week while I get those consistent doses. By this time the site should have been launched and it's the "advertising" we'll be working on. 

Whether we bring the kids or not, I don't know. I'm thinking the die-off will not be pretty. A) I don't want the kids to witness that and B) It'd be stressful on John to have to try being there for me and juggling the kids in a little hotel room ... BUT my mom is gonna be out of town for another few weeks traveling to Canada, Arizona and some other place with my dad for my his business.

There's a lot to figure out ...we'll see how it all plays out. Maybe we'll just wait out those three weeks, going once a week during that time, and after those three weeks are up then we'll stay there for a week.

I'm sure it'll all work out. It seems so often that humans/I worry, worry, worry about how things (especially complicated things) are going to work out but so often, in one way or another, they just do!

I'll bank on that.